- ‘PhoToad’

I’ve gotta say, this alleged crime baffles me.

Here at the city of Seymour’s public restrooms on the east side of the square, again missing is the sign that identifies the men’s bathroom. It’s the third time the sign has been swiped.

On Saturday, the theft resulted in some poor woman walking in on a surprised fellow in a stall.

As a cadet in Seymour Police Chief Steven Pogue’s “Barney Fife Investigation Academy,” I’m trying to catch the sign thief.

I’ve narrowed down my suspect list.

The culprit isn’t Amish; outhouses in the two Seymour Old Order Amish communities are without signs.

The culprit likely isn’t a female; it would be a “red flag” to linger around the men’s side and not be a man.

So, per my investigative work, the thief is a male and not Amish.

He’s also very bored and likely doesn’t work, per the nocturnal thefts.

I’m told the city’s solution will be to paint the gender signs on the block walls, so if the thief wants to keep stealing, he’d better own a chisel.

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