- PhoToad'

Yes, I know it’s cold outside, but I couldn’t resist hitting the new underground swimming hole here in town on North Frances Street.

My name for it is the “DNR Do-Nothing Complex,” as it’s evident the Missouri Department of Natural Resources, known as the DNR, plans to do nothing about the gas smell in the city’s sewer lines.

For me, it’s opportunity.

I just crawl in the hole underneath the big fan that the city powers for the DNR for free, then swim around, knowing that there’s no danger of the DNR doing any work here.

It’s been a year since those state environmentalists came to this scene, and their work on your tax dollar has produced nothing but excuses, lip service after elected officials ask questions and an actual increase of gas smells.

Impressive. If the DNR continues to do nothing, I’m ready to make a living on North Frances Street by opening up my own fracking operation.

What’s best is that I won’t even have to frack ... the gas just sits here.

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